


Just Guys Being Dudes (tm)

by MonsterParade



Category: Space Ghost Coast to Coast
Genre: But that's just how he is, Face-Fucking, Friends With Benefits, M/M, Oral Sex, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, REAL best friends watch porn together, Trans Male Character, and suck each other off afterwards, just guys being dudes, weird bug dick, zorak's a little rough and a little crude
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-16
Updated: 2019-08-16
Packaged: 2020-09-02 00:46:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,825
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20267263
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MonsterParade/pseuds/MonsterParade
Summary: If you wanted to read a fic about me, specifically, giving Zorak (Lone Locust of the Apocalypse) a blowjob, then you are in the right place! It's just self-indulgent porn and nothing else.





	Just Guys Being Dudes (tm)

**Author's Note:**

> I just wrote this for my nsfw self-ship blog on tumblr and thought you should all suffer it here too ('v')b
> 
> I'm a trans guy and the word 'pussy' is used here in reference to me, so if that word makes you dysphoric, please make sure to be careful! Everyone in the fic is respectful of each others' gender and pronouns. I hope at least one other person likes this!! Thanks!!

“See, I never understood why that was supposed to be sexy.”  
  
“What? Tentacles?”  
  
“No, the all-the-way-through thing. Like, that wouldn’t work out. There’s _organs _in there. People would die!”  
  
Making a non-committal noise, Zorak tipped his head back and ate a fistful of chicken wings whole, bones and all, with an awful crunching sound.  
  
“It’s _porn_,” he said, bits of bone dropping out of his beak and spraying the couch as he spoke, “It’s not supposed to make sense. It’s just supposed to be hot.”  
  
“But it’s not hot, either, it’s just _gross_,” Silas argued, waving a hand dismissively at the scene on the television screen. “Or, uh, at least to me. Whatever cranks your lever, I guess. –Do you want the bone?”  
  
“Yeah, gimme.”  
  
Silas handed over the bone from his own chicken wing and watched with mild interest as Zorak crunched that one to pieces too, bobbing his head like an owl. His beak was smeared with buffalo sauce.  
  
…What a guy.  
  
Silas turned his attention back to the screen and patiently ignored it when Zorak burped into his fist next to him.  
  
Zorak hadn’t struck him as the tentacle hentai type, really; but before now, Zorak hadn’t struck him as the kind of guy who liked to watch his porn with friends, either, and _yet_, here they were.  
  
It had been an odd invitation to receive. And strangely validating! Yes, this was what cis guys did with their friends, probably– he’d been accepted into the bro circle! Just guys being dudes. _Totally _casual.  
  
The poor anime girl on the tv wailed as the monster she was tangled up with further assaulted her, while Silas struggled to focus on the fun tentacles and not on the bodily proportions that were so incessantly bugging him. He’d never watched porn next to someone else before. It was harder to get into it.  
  
“Haha, whoa, gross!” Zorak exclaimed, jabbing a chicken wing forward to point as the anime girl on screen fell to the ground, cum dripping out of every orifice on her body. “Looks like fire extinguisher foam.”  
  
Silas snorted loudly and started coughing.  
  
Zorak just watched him out of the corner of his eye until he could clear his throat again, thumping his own chest to clear it.  
  
“You good?”  
  
“Yeah. _Fuck_. You’re absolutely right. God, now I can’t unsee it.” Silas muttered, biting back a smile. Zorak snickered once beside him and then crossed his legs, shifting himself indiscreetly.  
  
Silas glanced at him slyly under the guise of brushing crumbs off of his pants.  
  
Well. He knew that Zorak had a dick now. Not that it was any of his _business_, not that he’d been planning to _ask_, but, uh, that bulge in his dumb polyester shorts _was _pretty hard to miss.  
  
Unintentionally, Silas mimicked Zorak, wiggling in his seat.  
  
It was no secret he had the hots for Zorak. The only one who _didn’t_ seem to notice it was the dumb mantis himself. And it was turning out to be– predictably– _difficult _to watch his crush get a boner right next to him.  
  
They were close enough together that their legs could have touched. It was _intensely _distracting.  
  
“Hey, go pop in another one,” Zorak said, as the DVD ran on to the credits and then back to the main menu. “I don’t care, just pick whatever.”  
  
Silas happily took the excuse to search for something more to his taste.  
  
As he crossed the room and knelt down next to Zorak’s haphazard pile of DVDs, he just very carefully kept his observations about the sheer number of pornographic discs firmly to himself.  
  
“…You got a lotta monster-fucking stuff.” Silas noted, selecting a disc with some kind of ogre on it next to another blushing maiden. He swapped it out for the one in the DVD player and then hurried back to the couch, settling back into the butt-shaped dent he’d made.  
  
“Yeah. What about it?”  
  
“Nothing! Just an observation.”  
  
Zorak was, thankfully, easy enough to distract with television that Silas didn’t end up having to justify his spur of the moment comment. Zorak really loved to get into arguments.  
  
The DVD hit the title screen, Zorak pressed play, and then he was enraptured by the screen again as Silas found his eyes wandering once more, back down to the bulge he now couldn’t _un_-notice.  
  
“…Do you want a blowjob?” Silas asked, before his brain could clamp down on the desire and force it properly to the back of his mind.  
  
To his surprise, Zorak barely looked at him.  
  
“Who doesn’t? What kind of stupid question is that?” he replied. It took Silas a hot minute to realize where the communication error was coming from.  
  
“…_Oh!_ No, that’s not– um, I meant from, me. Right now. Do you want a blowjob from _me?_”  
  
Silas could feel himself starting to turn red as he clarified, and the sudden goggle-eyed look Zorak fixed him with only made the sensation worse, although he held his ground and made no attempt to take the offer back. Zorak snapped his jaws open and closed a few times, as though he couldn’t settle on what to say.  
  
“… …I dunno, man, that’s kind of gay?” Zorak eventually answered, his voice cracking amusingly. Encouragingly enough, though, he didn’t sound _uncomfortable _with the idea, just confused about it. He didn’t even bother to get up and move away or snap at Silas, so Silas dared to press the point.  
  
“Is it though? It’s 2019, man. Friends can give their other friends blowjobs. –I mean, you absolutely don’t _have _to! I’m _not _gonna pressure you into anything. But…”  
  
“Free blowjob,” Zorak finished for him, his antennae perked with interest. He looked almost suspicious, but undeniably intrigued, and he licked the buffalo sauce off his gloves as Silas nodded his head, watching his human companion closely. “…Why? What’s in it for you?”  
  
Silas shrugged.  
  
“I dunno! Nothing, if you don’t want. I just feel like it.” he said, and it _was_ completely true. It would be nice if Zorak felt like returning the favor, but ultimately, he just really wanted to suck his dick.  
  
Zorak blinked at him a few more times, obviously considering. Silas deliberately glanced away to give him time to think, turning back to the screen to watch the ogre rip the clothes off of the young woman like tear-away pants in a theatre production.  
  
Silas got his answer only a minute later, when Zorak elbowed him in the side.  
  
“Alright. Alright, yeah, if you wanna help a guy out!” Zorak decided, already reaching for the hem of his pants and feeling around for an opening, “Then be my guest! But you _better _not have buffalo sauce in your mouth, cuz that shit burns.”  
  
“Mine were honey-barbecue,” Silas assured him, rather distantly. Most of his attention had gone straight to Zorak’s dick, which he fished out of his shorts as Silas watched and then awkwardly rearranged his clothes around. Silas tried not to stare too hard.   
  
He wasn’t sure what he had been expecting, but…  
  
“Oh, _cool_,” Silas said on reflex, and Zorak tilted his head almost all the way to the side as Silas desperately fumbled for something to draw attention away from his stupid comment. He all but jumped off the couch, shuffling around until he was on his knees in front of Zorak, and then patted at the mantis’ thighs until he opened them further to give him room.  
  
He wasn’t blushing. He _totally _wasn’t blushing. This was just a platonic blowjob between friends, Silas assured himself, and made sure not to look Zorak in the eyes as he reached out to gently run a finger along the line of ridges on the underside of Zorak’s dick. It was much softer than it looked.  
  
Silas felt like he should say _something_, but he didn’t know _what_, so he just leaned in, with his heart thumping, and wrapped his fingers around the shaft, giving it a careful and testing squeeze before ducking his head down to flick his tongue over the rounded prongs at the head.  
  
Zorak jerked like he’d been electrocuted, and Silas was stopped from skittering away in surprise only by Zorak digging his hands into his hair. Silas glanced up and raised his eyebrows, worried.  
  
Zorak suddenly looked either embarrassed or furious; and given what his reaction had been, it was probably the former.  
  
“–S’been a while,” Zorak grumbled, averting his eyes. Silas was careful not to laugh, and hid his smile by shifting again and then taking the entire head of his cock into his mouth, equally out of practice but happy to get back into it.  
  
Despite the rather imposing appearance of the prongs at the tip, there was nothing actually sharp about them, and as Silas testingly ran the tip of his tongue between them, feeling it out, he could feel Zorak already starting to dig his fingers into his scalp, his hands tensing eagerly.  
  
“Don’t be shy, it ain’t gonna bite ya,” Zorak urged him, and gave him a little tug, which Silas easily resisted. He was planning to take this at his own pace, thank you very much, and looked Zorak as firmly in the eyes as he could from his position as he moved his hand down to the very base of Zorak’s dick and squeezed again, sucking hard, once, on the head.  
  
Zorak squawked a strangled sound and released Silas’ hair, holding his hands up like he was at gunpoint.  
  
“Okay, okay! Touchy!”  
  
Silas patted Zorak’s leg and finally sank down further, moving slowly and very carefully as he tried to map out the ridges with his tongue. Huh…ridges on the bottom, and little bumps along the top. So _cute!_  
  
Above him, Zorak made a very faint chittering sound in the back of his throat, almost like a cricket, and let his head flop back with a painful-sounding thump onto the back of the couch, crossing his arms across his chest and holding them tightly to himself.  
  
“_Ohh,_ yeah…” he muttered, craning his neck so he could watch Silas under his drooping eyelids, “You look good like this. You’re a _real _pal. Keep going.”  
  
Well, he hadn’t been planning to _stop_.  
  
“Mm-hm, mm-hm,” Silas hummed obligingly, managing to take a little more into his mouth before he felt himself starting to gag– and then he pulled back, off of him with a soft ‘pop’, and stroked him a few times before taking him into his mouth again.  
  
He really hoped he didn’t look as horrendously love-struck as he felt, his pulse quick and hot and burning his cheeks every time Zorak made a sound. He’d imagined this too many times to really keep his cool, and it was really only sheer force of will (and the potential mortification) that was keeping him from asking Zorak if he’d rather Silas just _sit _on his dick instead.  
  
All that texture would probably feel _amazing_.  
  
Behind him, Silas could still hear the DVD playing, squeaky Japanese helping to drown out the sound of him lapping at Zorak, and was reminded of how furiously horny he was himself as he shuffled and squashed his thighs together, carefully bobbing up and down on the cock in his mouth.  
  
He’d missed this. And it was _way _better to suck somebody off when they were– well, you know, when you were carrying a torch for them. Zorak’s voice was always grating, but right now Silas absolutely couldn’t get _enough _of it, listening intently for any little grunts or groans and diligently working to recreate them.  
  
“You, uh, you do this a lot-?” Zorak asked haltingly, finally unfolding his arms and daring to rest his hands on Silas’ head again. He didn’t tug this time around, only scratched and pet, and Silas hooded his eyes and tried not to look _too _into it, letting the side of Zorak’s dick rub against the inside of his cheek and make it bulge out.  
  
“Mm-hmm-hmm!” (_Not really!_)  
  
“I must really be your favorite then, huh?”  
  
A joke, of course, to dispel the tension– and also an unfortunate truth, one which made Silas almost choke for a moment and have to pull back to clear his throat. He kept his hand working along Zorak’s length while he did, shakily petting.  
  
Zorak tried and failed not to look too interested in the feeling of Silas choking on him. He had the same look on his face as a cat who’d spotted a mouse, and Silas feared for a moment that Zorak had figured out his motivations.  
  
“Dude, shut up,” Silas muttered, smacking Zorak’s thigh. Zorak only jumped a little, and then settled back down, apparently far more forgiving of an attitude once his dick came into play.  
  
“Hey, I’m flattered! You’ve got good taste, _real _good taste; I’d suck my dick if I could too.”  
  
“Oh my _god_. Zorak.”  
  
“What?”  
  
<strike>_Shut up before I sit on your fucking face_</strike>  
  
“Just shut up and enjoy it, man,” Silas sighed weakly, shoving his thoughts way deep down and locking them away before he could let something stupid slip, and he allowed Zorak to guide him back to his cock and wrapped his lips around him again to keep him quiet. Zorak groaned, loud and appreciative, and Silas shivered and _burned_.  
  
“Hey, _hah_– faster, will ya?” Zorak urged, his hips twitching as if he were struggling to sit still. “I mean– uh, _please_?”  
  
Silas hummed in reply, noncommittally. Honestly, he kind of wanted to draw this out, just really _savor _it while he had the chance. But on the other hand…  
  
There _was _a certain appeal to skipping ahead and hearing what Zorak sounded like when he came.  
  
Silas pulled back again after a minute and listened happily to the exclamation of complaint it got him. He stretched his jaw, yawning and shaking his hands out, and then looked up at Zorak thoughtfully while he admired the glassy look in his eyes. Fuck, Zorak looked good like this…so cute.  
  
“I’m gonna–” Silas began, and then had to cut off to clear his throat again, his voice breaking, “–Excuse me. I’m gonna make a suggestion, but you have to _promise _to take this seriously.” he said, fixing Zorak with a serious look until the mantis properly tuned in.  
  
Zorak blinked, a little thrown but definitely interested.  
  
“Yeah?”  
  
Silas averted his eyes and studied the carpet closely.  
  
“How about you fuck my mouth?” he offered quietly. Zorak made a wordless, strangled noise in reply, causing Silas to glance back up at him in concern, and, oh, okay, he was definitely into that idea then.  
  
“You serious?” Zorak asked, although he had already shifted forward on the couch in preparation as he re-adjusted his grip on Silas’ short hair. “Fuck yeah! _Fuck _yeah, I’ll fuck your mouth.”  
  
Silas tried not to pay too much attention to the wonderful purr Zorak’s voice rolled into as he waved him down again, pink in the face.  
  
“Aht-aht! But!”  
  
“Aw, but _what?_”  
  
“You _have _to stop and let me go if I tap you,” Silas said, “You _have _to be careful, you can’t pull my hair out, and you have to warn me before you cum. Alright? Because if you hurt me I _will _bite your whole dick off.” he warned.  
  
Zorak made a soft ‘yeesh’ sound, but his enthusiasm didn’t seem particularly diminished. In fact, he shivered a little, and as Silas watched a bead of precum welled at the head of his cock between the two prongs, a very pale green color. Zorak pet Silas’ head like he was stroking a cat.  
  
“Okay sure, sure! No need to get your teeth involved, I know how to take a hint,” Zorak assured him, although just based on his track record, Silas wasn’t really sure of that. “You sure I can’t cum in your mouth though?”  
  
“I’m _sure_. Sorry. You can cum on my face though?”  
  
“_–Deal._”  
  
“Then let me just–“  
  
Silas quickly pulled his glasses off and folded them up, handing them up to Zorak, who put them aside on the sofa. Things would be a little blurry, but that was better than cleaning bug jizz off the lenses later. He squinted back up at Zorak afterwards and gave him a nervous smile, with his vision now greatly diminished.  
  
“Okay,” he said softly, “Okay. Be nice, Zorak.”  
  
“Oh I’ll be _better _than nice for you, baby,” Zorak replied in a purr, and he didn’t even seem to realize his own use of the pet name as he hurried to line himself up with Silas’ mouth again, nudging against his lips, eager and slick. Silas turned as red as he had ever been and just tried not to let that tone of voice get to him, as he obligingly opened his mouth.  
  
Zorak curled his fingers into Silas’ short hair, just above his temples, and gave him a testing nudge– and Silas followed the motion obediently, and let himself sink down on him.  
  
That was all Zorak needed. To his credit, he was _trying _not to be too rough, Silas could tell; but his hands were tense, his fingers sharp and digging, and Silas choked a little bit as Zorak moved him to angle his head upwards so he could slide his dick straight down his throat. Silas struggled a little to swallow around him, and felt another pulse of uncomfortable wet heat coil in his stomach and add to the wet spot that was slicking the fabric of his boxers.  
  
Zorak pulled at his hair excitedly, rocking his hips without finesse, and then slowly started to find his rhythm.  
  
Silas simply shifted and did his best to follow the push and pull of Zorak’s insistent hands as the mantis found his angle, found his speed. Zorak’s dick was tapered rather noticeably, but grew much thicker towards the base, and every time he’d hilt himself into Silas’ throat, his cock throbbing against his tongue, Silas’ jaw would ache and he’d make a weak, choked sound, trying not to drool.  
  
Silas imagined he looked rather slutty at the moment, on his hands and knees with his head tilted back for his dick so easily, but the knowledge only made him more uncomfortably needy, his pussy clenching on nothing. His vision was as foggy as his head.  
  
“Yeah– you like that?” Zorak asked, his voice breathy and a little strained. He pulled Silas back, held him there until he sucked obligingly on the head of his cock, and groaned between the serrated edges of his beak, forcing himself back down Silas’ throat to follow the pressure. “You like my fuckin’ cock in your throat? You like it a little rough?”  
  
Steroetypical dirty-talk for sure, but the classics were classics for a reason. Silas made as much of an agreeable sound as he could and leaned into it, hitting the point that his eyes started to water. He liked it maybe a little…_too _much, he considered to himself.  
  
Zorak arched his back and jerked his hips shallowly a few times in response to the soft vibrations.  
  
“Fuck! Yeah, yeah, m’almost there, gonna cum all over your face,” he continued to mutter, and Silas had to try not to whimper with how badly he wanted some attention of his own. He reached up to squeeze at Zorak’s thighs.  
  
“…You good?” Zorak asked, actually hesitating for a moment despite his excitement. Silas made a humming sound, trying to nod his head before he remembered that he couldn’t, and ran his tongue along him eagerly to reassure him to continue.  
  
He was quite flattered that Zorak had noticed his tension at all.  
  
Zorak resumed his jerky thrusts with an air of relief, his gaze still locked on Silas’ as if he were hypnotized. Behind them, the hentai on the television rolled its end credits, quiet music playing, and was summarily ignored, long forgotten.  
  
Silas couldn’t help it anymore. He fumbled and reached back for himself, trying, discreetly, to slip a hand into his underwear. Zorak’s eyelids were fluttering, his antennae starting to curl, and his attention was understandably scattered as he chased his high in pumps and groans; so scattered that he didn’t notice the way Silas scrunched his eyes shut as he slid his fingers between the soaking lips of his own pussy, finally rubbing out a little relief.  
  
Zorak’s thrusts started to falter.  
  
“_Gah_– gonna– almost, _there,_” he bit out, grinding the head of his dick against the roof of Silas’ mouth, and Silas shifted himself where he knelt and sucked Zorak _hard _and rolled his hips, pressing two of his fingers into himself as far as he could with the barrier of his jeans still in place.  
  
Zorak’s beak snapped with a sound like a trap closing.  
  
“Holy _shit _are you _fuh– fingering– gg**gh**-fuck!”_ he stammered, and before he could even finish his sentence his hands were yanking at Silas’ hair _just_ this side of too hard and dragging him up and off of him, his eyes closing hard, as his body seized up and his cock pulsed and a thick, sticky fluid spattered across Silas’ lips and the bridge of his nose. Given next to no warning, Silas couldn’t even close his mouth in time, and despite their initial agreement some of it ended up getting on his tongue anyway, heavy and hot.  
  
He sputtered and just snapped his mouth closed so he wouldn’t swallow any more while Zorak rode out his orgasm, hips bucking stiffly so the last few ropes of cum streaked over Silas’ right cheek and his jaw. Silas held himself carefully still with his face burning, eyes closed, and listened to Zorak gasp and bark.  
  
He swallowed what was in his mouth on a reflex.  
  
It wasn’t really that bad. It tasted weirdly like grass.  
  
Silas kept still until he was sure Zorak was done, the hands in his hair loosening their grip and then going slack, and then he opened the eye that didn’t have cum splattered across its lid and squinted up at him with his nose wrinkled, unsure if he wanted to risk opening his mouth to talk.  
  
“… …_Blahhh._ _Dude._” he eventually said, pulling his slick fingers out of his pants and using his other hand to wipe away some of the mess on his lips.  
  
Zorak didn’t even have the decency to look properly ashamed; he just flopped back against the couch like a puppet with its strings cut and stared back at Silas with a satisfied, blissed-out glaze in his eyes. He didn’t even bother to tuck his dick away.  
  
“Heh, yeah, sorry about that,” he chuckled. “Meant to warn ya. You uh, ya look _good_ like this though.”  
  
Silas just sighed at him and pushed himself to his feet to find a towel, his nerves buzzing with pride and satisfaction despite the fumbled ending. He _bet _he did.


End file.
